The Closet Goblin Chronicles

Welcome, fellow creatures of shadow and commerce! Step into my humble closet kingdom where I document the sacred arts of goblin merchantry, the ancient codes we live by, and the delicate dance of staying hidden from human eyes.

Merchant Level

Journeyman Trader

47 successful closet transactions

Lore Mastery

Ancient Keeper

Custodian of 127 sacred codes

Stealth Rating

Shadow Master

Zero human detections this year!

Latest Chronicles

The Great Sock Heist of Tuesday

A thrilling tale of midnight acquisitions...

Negotiating with Dust Bunnies

Advanced diplomatic strategies for closet harmony...

Sacred Wisdom

Code #42: The Silent Footstep

Never let your footsteps echo in human halls...

Human Interference Protocol 7

What to do when they reorganize YOUR closet...